Organic Chemistry

I just deleted my online dating profile. I think I am of the mindset now to want to meet someone organically. I’m tired of the vetting process. And people are just weird. Or maybe my profile just attracts them. Who knows.

I am also thinking about stopping therapy this week. I don’t know if it’s because my therapist is not a good fit or if I lack clear goals to succeed with it. I started therapy because I reached a very low point a couple of months ago and felt maybe it was time to get help that wasn’t only in pill form. So far, I haven’t seen the point of chatting with someone for an hour each week.

I mean, my life is not perfect. My family is no longer — I have issues with my father I have yet to try to cope with. But how do you cope with those issues? I mean, he’s an alcoholic and he started targeting me in a highly inappropriate way. Then my mom and my sister no longer speak and the only time I hear from my teenage nephew is when he wants or needs something.

What would therapy carry out with that? It simply is what it is. I just keep on keeping on and no amount of discussing it is really something I think would be of any help.

I guess what it boils down to is I’m not feeling I am getting the feedback I am looking for and at the same time, the conundrum happens because I am not sure what feedback I am looking for to begin with.

I don’t know how to therapy.

But back to dating. I have a crush on a guy, but we dated last year for a brief amount of time and his reason for ending it is because he didn’t feel like he was in love with me.

The weird of it is he’s my best friend’s ex-husband. And she’s the one who set us up last year. I have a habit of crushing on those who don’t reciprocate.

Maybe that’s what I need to talk about in therapy.