Abortion: Where do we draw the line?

Trigger warning: Controversial topic of abortion, pro-choice, body autonomy, feminism, reproductive rights.

Disclaimer: This post on abortion is in reference of those who choose to abort for whatever reason. It is not intended to malign or judge those who have had abortions, choose to abort, or had traumatizing factors that happened to cause them to have an abortion such as but not limited to: incest, rape.

A long time ago on a blog name far, far away, I wrote once on the topic of abortion. And in the comments I was accused of not being a real feminist because I didn’t believe in abortion past a certain term.

I do not know anything about abortions, except maybe a couple medical things I hear they do. But that’s hearsay. I have fortunately never had to make that decision. My heart goes out to those who do.

With that said, I still struggle with body autonomy. I want to believe we have the right to do what we can and/or will with our bodies. I also struggle with the idea of abortion and I will elaborate on why.

I saw from a Facebook page I follow, NARAL Pro Choice that a republican state senator was placing a ban on abortion past the 15 week mark. Women who do fully agree on body autonomy think it’s awful.

My curious ass went on Google to find out the development of an embryo at that stage. Big mistake. At least for me.

According to some baby site, the embryo can detect light, is developing taste buds, and their legs are growing longer than their arms. And honestly, it looks like a little baby. I would tell you the size, but obviously I missed that section.

So the conundrum for me is where does the line get drawn between body autonomy and dare I say killing another human being? According to the previously mentioned commenter, if you have a line on abortion, you are not completely for body autonomy.

Two things though. One: if a pregnant woman is killed – the perpetrator receives a double homicide charge. Two: If you choose to have unprotected sex, conceive, you get a get out of pregnancy for a certain fee card. Are we not taught in society that we must bear the consequences of our actions? Maybe abortion is that consequence. Maybe I don’t fully have a grasp on the controversial topic, but going past 15 weeks seems like a long time to wait for an abortion. I do get in some states it is hard. I do get there are gray areas in the whole enchilada of it all.

I just don’t know where the line should go. When I had my pregnancy scare — yes it was a definite scare — I was lucky and found out super early. By accident.

Story time.

When I was in college roughly 12 years ago, I had a boyfriend. That boyfriend and I’s preferred method of protection was relying on me to get my Depo Provera shot. I went to New York with him for holiday and when we came back, I went to go get my shot. The nurse told me I hadn’t received my last shot that I was supposed to back in October. She said I needed a pregnancy test before she could give me the shot. I told her no worries, I’ll do the test, there isn’t any way I am pregnant.

Until she came back in the room and said, “You’re pregnant.” My initial response was, “You’re kidding.” She didn’t like that, but also probably wasn’t expecting a woman to be as shocked as a young teen receiving the same news. I really felt my life was over. By 7 weeks, the sac didn’t have a fetal pole. By 9 weeks I was having a D&C – the procedure done when the pregnancy is not viable and your doctor doesn’t want to chance you bleeding out during miscarriage. I consider myself lucky. If you’re curious, I had simultaneous emotions throughout the ordeal. One part thought maybe me being a mother was meant to be. The other was all I would do anything not to be a mother — except for abortion.

I have always believed abortion should be available to both those who need it or want it. My personal choice would not be to abort. And though it shouldn’t really factor in what I feel is right for our society of women and the whole reproductive rights fight, I wonder if it doesn’t affect why I think there should be a line. But if 15 weeks is shock and appall to pro-choice women, where’s the line?

I can’t wrap my head around late-term abortions. I don’t know what makes it matter so much to me, but it does. I understand the adoption process is shot and foster care is over-populated and child neglect and abuse is an ever-growing evil, but aborting a baby when they are further developed past taste buds, limbs differentiating, detecting light — it doesn’t sit right.